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2003-05-28/29 - Chindi (Day 43-44)

This waking up with the plan of leaving and then scraping that plan and settling back into staying put for another day is becoming a pattern. When I wake up I notice that my left foot has swollen up to being almost double the size of the right one. As often happens while traveling, my minor injuries hadn't had a chance to heal when they are pressed again. In this case, the left foot was still tender from dropping the bike on it on the way to Nako, with yesterday's 5km round-trip walk, its been pushed too far and each step is painful.

Things could be worse, I've taken a two room suite with a bay window and a desk facing the mountains and these two days are basically spent taking the Navy math and algebra course which I brought along. Somehow factoring polynomials in this setting seems an ok use of my time.

I am struck by how unconnected I feel. The internet account I bought in Shimla doesn't work for some unknown reason, the Magic card for the mobile phone doesn't work in Himachal Predesh, the hotel TV doesn't work, and there aren't any periodicals I see in the hotel or in the little bus-stop village down the path - English or Hindi. Heck, the nearest gas station is 13km away and they don't even have gas! What is striking is that I've become so used to my world being so large - my news comes from the BBC, CNN, and several US newspapers and website's in real time, my friends scattered around the world are instantly available through instant messaging and internet phone and video, my money in banks in three countries can be moved at will through e-banking, and the list goes on. Over the past few years, my world has increased in scope a hundred fold due to the technology that ties me with invisible wires to the entire world.

Here on the other hand, my world only extends as far as the reception desk, and the most I can influence is what is for dinner and the decision to go or to stay. I know nothing of what is going on in the world beyond my desk and have little in the way of ability to find out. I can't reach anyone and they can't reach me. I have become completely unwired with my world limited to the books I brought with me and even they are at the mercy of the power outages.

The best analogy I can find is that I now feel very small and powerless. I can not reach or influence anything much beyond the doorstep whereas I usually can spread my voice, or requests around the world with the touch of a button. I can not move anything I own except by picking it up and putting it on my back, whereas I'm used to being able to move money anywhere in the world at the touch of a button or send presentations, pictures, even this website to anyone in less then a minute - now none of that is possible. In one frame I feel like I've been neutered, my strength taken away and reduced to what I can lift and carry. I also realize that this is all that 80% of the world has ever known.

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