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2003-05-31 - Chindi - Houn (Day 46)

As agreed, Mohinder shows up at 1:00pm and we prepare to set out for his home, which is in the little village of Houn, about 60km into the mountains. We ride down to the gas station in Kersog and through a little badgering and pleading by Mohinder, we get another 2.5 liters out of the attendant. He is not happy about it but I should have enough gas to get to Mohinder's home and back without worry.

The road out of Kersog quickly turns rough and into dirt as we turn toward Mohinder's home. Another rough "logging-road" the drive of 40km takes us more then two and a half hours but the ride itself is nice with pine trees on one side soaking the air with their scent, many small streams running down to the road and fresh mountain air. Well fresh until we come upon a bus where we are covered in dust for a kilometer until there is a place for the bus to pull to the side and let us pass.

We make it to Mohinder's home, which is perched just above the road, and are greeted by his Mother who welcomes me as warmly as Mr. Sharma's Mother did. Again, there is no common language but she makes me feel very welcome. We stretch out, relax on the benches in front of the house, and relax a bit with the Chai that Mohinder's mother brings.

After we have caught our breath, Mohinder shows me around his home and the one he is building next door. The new place has 22 rooms, which seems a bit excessive for the three women and a single servant that inhabit the current house. Mohinder tells me that there will always be relatives and friends coming so extra rooms are a necessity. We walk into the fields and orchards around the house. The family grows wheat, apples, kiwi and has a full garden. Being in the Himalayas the grounds are very steep making the use of machines impossible and seemingly all the farm work is done by hand. As we walk through the fields there are people from the village cutting the wheat with sickles and placing them in rows to carry down into the village for threshing. Mohinder sit in the apple orchard and discuss life. He wants to know of the countries I have seen, what the people are like, what is different and so on, so there is much to tell. We spend the most time talking about possibilities though as Mohinder starts the conversation talking about how impossible it would be for him to go to another country. I beg to differ and telling him how I started in Taiwan ¡V basically just getting on a plane, not knowing a soul, not speaking the language, no contacts and no money, it starts his mind turning. I seem to be running into a fundamental cultural problem that I was raised to believe anything I set my mind to is possible, he's stuck in one has their own place and that's it. It is a very interesting talk and I am sure I have started his mind thinking.

I catch Mohinder in a bit of a quandary when I ask him if he is very religious. He says, yes, deeply religious. I then ask, well, you believe God will help you if you really want something, correct? He agrees. Then I ask, well, if you really wanted to go abroad or a different life, God would help you right? Pausing, he says yes. Then I say, so, you just don't believe in God enough to believe he would help you go somewhere else as a tourist or to live? Trapped, Mohinder smiles and we head back to the house, as it gets dark.

Mohinder's wife Ritcha has prepared dinner which Mohinder, the Napali servant and I take in the kitchen with the women in the back kitchen. There is very clear separation during this with the women serving us and taking no part in the meal or conversation. To everyone's amusement I still have problems getting the food into my with the meal's utensils - my hands. I keep trying to put the corn stew onto the japatti (flat bread) and bring it to my mouth instead of just grabbing it all as a bunch in my hand and eating it like Mohinder. I end up being very slow do to my overly dainty eating and both Mohinder and the Nepali are very amused.

As I expected, Mohinder pulls out the local barley whisky after dinner but to his dismay I decline to drink and am insistent on it. Probably not the best manners and apparently not something a man should do, but the drinking with Mr. Sharma has left me cold to more heavy drinking.

We finish the meal with the women cleaning up and Mohinder takes me to see the VCD of his wedding 6 weeks ago. I get to see the entire all day ceremony on video and find it a fascinating replay of the wedding I saw part of in Solan. Even though Mohinder and Ritcha only lived 2 kilometers away, they only knew each other in passing before getting engaged. A relative acting as the matchmaker introduced Mohinder to Ritcha's family and over five visits to the family, they decided to get married. During these visits, there was almost no conversation between Mohinder and Ritcha but mostly between the matchmaker and Ritcha's parents leaving the young couple to simply look at each other and make the decision based on that, and the perception of each other's family background and status. The wedding is much of the same with the bride and groom sitting quietly with bowed heads for practically the entire ceremony, not speaking to anyone or each other. The bride's face is covered and eyes downcast for the entire day.

It is almost 10pm and everyone heads off to bed. Not being used to sleeping so early, I am lying away in the complete darkness of the valley with just a slight glow from the night sky coming in the window. Mohinder and Ritcha's room is directly above me and I am quite happy to hear them softly talking together late into the night. Up until that point, I had wondered if there was any real "relationship" between the two in the sense of a friendship and mutual affection but hearing the soft whispers put that to rest. I continue to wonder if there is really any difference between an arranged marriage such as this and the one after another dating of the American culture in terms of finding a mate.

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